For the first time in my entire life, I felt the greatest amount of solemn. The feeling of greyness, the kind of thoughts that made your imagination run boundrylessly wild, I broke down yesterday. I stared into the blank ceiling as if it was some kind of great art piece, but my eyes were as blank as anything you could think of. I was deeply hurt, one way or the other. But the cause of that feeling was some lack minor lack of assurance, which escalate to what it is now. I'm engulfed in sorrow. Just at the back of my throat I could feel the stuck, the sour kind, the one people experienced when they cry. I'm at my limits now. It's never embarrassing to admit that you cry, because people cry when they are really sad. I did last night, and I just did too...This morning I really wanted to go to the service. After four months of skipping, I really thought I want to go today. But the struggle I had last night landed me exhausted, really exhausted. The mental kind of exhaustion, where you don't feel like thinking of anything. Staring at the ceiling, I finally dozed off in the morning.In the afternoon, dage asked me to go to the IT fair at the exhibition hall in Suntec. I met up with him at Simei. Going out with friend allowed me to have an escapade from the troubles I had, for a while. The entire mall was really packed, especially at the area of exhibition. We collected many brochures from the different different booths, and found an area to do some comparison. In the end, I decided to buy a compaq laptop. It's pretty nice. My laptop has the same birthdate as someone's laptop. Exactly same year, same month, same day.At home, the feeling came back again, and I fell into the grey world...