Childhood memories:

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Sometimes, things do not just fall into distinctive groups, that is if you are either this or that. At times, things do fall into both groups, that is you are both this and that. Many a times, people do forget though that apart from 2 distinct circles, and subset circles, there are also the presence of the overlapping circles. For one, people usually have the tendency to equate religions to beliefs, but the truth is that they do not. In fact, only part of each of them share common traits.

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Caricature practice 3: Simon Cowell

Caricature practice 2: Obama

Caricature practice 1: elongated Einstein

Some of them had been deliberate, some of it had come by chance, some of it had been forced, but I am still very glad that those have finally happened. Distinctive sentiments such as a potential "missing-it" is a different matter of course.

When I was walking home today, I had wanted to write a Chinese essay, but that desire vanished soon after. Lessons learnt: do it when you feel like it.

Oh! I'm liking this more and more!

People who take my combination had Geography paper 1 on Monday, Mathematics Paper 1 on Tuesday, General Paper on Wednesday, and Chemistry Paper 3 today. Apart from that, there are of course people like Faith and Charmaine who had their History papers on Monday and today, as well as a part Biology paper on the same day of GP for Faith. It's beginning to feel somewhat surreal that we're already sort of coming to the end of it already, considering how recent it felt like that we had just received the entry proof. (To my J1 readers, you guys ought to be feeling likewise in a year's time, and maybe you all will understand it then). JC life is nothing like what you'll experience elsewhere due to it's intensity, and to a huge degree, the craziness such experiences entail. But I shall leave my JC reflection til after A levels. Right now, it's the enjoyment of seeing how the number of days (and papers) narrow down. Anyway, I'm just so glad that this week is ending so quickly, and I am ever so thankful to my Daddy for His ever-available presence that I've relied on so much. The little testimony two days ago was just a minor incident in which He exhibited the vastness of His prowess, and it never ceases, even at times when some papers had seemed undoable, yet worked themselves out in one way or the other within the designated span of time. So thankful to Him. I love you, Daddy!

Then it occurred to me again. Initially, I was convinced that most people have the tendency to overlook the significance of our Heavenly Father in our lives during times when they don't do well. After all, in most random conversation, the more devoted ones would usually utter a word or two of "Hallelujahs" in light of a pleasant happening. In "Facing the Giants", it however made me realise that that's so not the case. It was mentioned by the head coach character in the film that "If we win, we'll thank Him; if we lose, we'll thank Him too!" Then it dropped some light into my confused mind, that perhaps my initial conviction had been somewhat off. Instead, people turn to God mostly only when they are plagued by some serious agonies or sorrows. "Lord, may You grant us healing and encouragement," " Lord, may You watch over us and help us to believe that whatever happens, it's because You've allowed them to." And many more of sorts. But today, I realise yet another otherwise. Of course, there is nothing wrong with crying out to Him. In fact, it was instructed in the Bible that God desires us to call out and cry out to Him. But the problem too lies in the very same reason- that perhaps we might have overlooked the necessity to return to Him, to give Him the praise and thanks that He deserves. Take for example, a kid who is going to sit for his exams. Being a devoted Christian as he has aspired to be, he enthusiastically joins his group of friends every morning before every written paper to pray and make requests for a smooth ride through the papers. Day by day, the same thing happens, but one day it suddenly begins to bug him. Something is tugging his heartstrings, and that he believes is the very hand of our Lord reaching out to him desperately from above. By God's grace, the kid was fortunate enough to realise that perhaps something had gone wrong-something has been lacking and gone unnoticed. "If we win, we'll thank Him; if we lose, we'll thank Him too!" Where's that promise? We have so earnestly come to Him every morning to commit everything into His hands, yet the load of us always squeeze Him out of our minds after every single paper, which He has so faithfully seen us through. He was merely a forgotten figure at that instant. No one talks about it, and neither did anyone realise that there could perhaps been something wrong about it. Nevertheless, I'm no god, and naturally I would not have been aware if anyone of us had individually given Him the praise and thanks He so deserves. It's just a sentiment to be shared, and it made me ever so aware that that had been a huge chunk that I've been missing out on. "If we win, we'll thank Him; if we lose, we'll thank Him too!" That, indeed, serves as a good reminder at any kind of time for us.

Matthew 7:7

Today's incident has got to be one of the best testimonies in my short span of Christian life. Lesson learnt: continue to trust in Him because He's ever so real.

Mathematics paper 1 is one paper which most of the J2s have labelled as a must-do-well since past year's paper and other practices have somehow managed to convince us almost entirely that it's one of the easiest paper in A levels. I was no exception. And it is precisely because of that kind of mentality that many of us were dealt the hard blows after slogging 3 hours away in the examination hall.

Have the questions been too hard? I don't think so. Perhaps a little tricky and very weird, but it's definitely doable. Try reminiscing, and we might realise that those are exactly the kind of questions that we faced in primary school- thinking out of the box is the only way to go about doing well. Yet, many people suffered terribly. For that, I've already feedback to my subject tutor about how those questions were designed to kill (once we fell at the first part of the questions, the subsequent parts would not be doable as well- error carried forward? That's way beyond the premise of this paper!).

Nevertheless, I'd just want to thank my Father so so much! I could have ended up like one of them, but my Father was gracious enough to help me through! Yes! I felt Him. After 1 hour, I've already finished the paper once, not because it was easy, but because I've skipped many questions. There was a short instant when I broke cold sweat, and I knew that was a bad sign so within myself, I mumbled, "calm down, TW."

Upon revisiting the questions, the solutions suddenly came to me one after the other. They took their time, but all of them came eventually. For that, I'm just so grateful!

Then there was the submission. It was before long when I realise I was humming the tune of the song "heart of worship". What does that show? The answer is up to the reader's own interpretation.

It's not too late, I'm certain about that. It's never gong to be too late, as long as you are sincere about it. That is, of course, not an excuse to procrastinate though.

James 4: 2-3

".... And yet the reason you don't have what you want is that you don't ask God for it. And even when you do ask, you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong- you want only what will give you pleasure."

Trust in God is more than merely saying; trust in God is not about how one declare to God that he'll trust in Him and so He'd better provide for me. That's just not the way how it works. Genuine trust is to be convinced entirely of the kind of things He has in mind for us, not one which requires some sort of returns.

Luke 19: 26

"but to those who use well what they are given, even more will be given. But from those who are unfaithful, even what little they have will be taken away."

While I was walking home, I deliberated hard if I should post this entry. One side of me was telling me that I'd portray the impression that I've being proud and boastful, but the other side was telling me otherwise. Indeed, it all lies in the purpose and the purpose itself only. I've wanted this to be a testimony, a witness for His prowess, yet the unrighteous thoughts occurred to me. I shall not be swayed by it, and by this, I hope that I'll bring glory to God, my Father! Hallelujah!!!

Elaboration: When Nathan learned of Adonijah's conspiracy, he immediately tried to stop it. He was a man of great faith and action. Nathan knew the right course to take- that Solomon should be king- and he moved quickly when he saw someone trying to block what was right. We often know what is right, but don't act on it. Perhaps we don't want to get involved, or maybe we are lazy. don't stop with prayer, good intentions, or angry feelings. Take the action needed to correct situation.

That aside, within me is of course very much swayed towards the side where that sentiment is concerned. It's been happening for some time already. What if I do not do well for my A levels, where am I going to go? University admission would be like a huge impossibility! Some had criticised me for not working hard enough, while others have begun to shun from me, perhaps due to that indifference I exhibit towards the convention, something which may not have been too well received by the general public. Yet, I'm not feeling that anxiety which so many of my peers have complained to me about. Even people who have done reasonably well and have been studying very very hard are turning up exclaiming how scared they are for some unknown reasons, yet I'm experiencing the calmness never felt before. For that, I credit much of that to God's grace, of which otherwise, I would have no other sensible reason for explanation. I mean, would a habitual high-flyer not be afraid of a potential fall from his peak? No, he would certainly be dumbfound at that very thought of it.

Then, that brings me to deeper thoughts. Reviewing everything that has happened, am I gonna buy in whatever all the so-called motivational speakers have been instilling in us? Persevere and it will pay off, hang in there, you reap what you sow.... I particularly like the speech give by Sir Ken Robinson who has lamented the diminishing creativity, pointing towards the homogeneous education system worldwide as a huge possibility for such phenomenon! Indeed, "the system today functions in such a way that they all work towards producing professors and only that."

After all, why in the world would anyone need that amount of knowledge which in the first place would not even stay with us beyond our education years?

Everyone knows the problem, yet no one is exactly bold enough to confront it. It's just not safe to be off the convention, isn't it? What if I try, and end up at the wrong side- regret would be too late by then wouldn't it? Founder of Pixar animation, Steve Job, described his decision to drop out from college as one of the best decisions he has ever made in his life. So that's an encouragement I guess. Of course, if everyone who drops out would succeed ultimately, then frankly who else would want to attend the detestable lessons that have been tormenting our youthful souls since memory begins. It is precisely that uncertainty that gives us the second thoughts, and many a times, that too, is the hugest stumbling block from fulfilling that decision.

No doubt, some of us are indeed more suited to the system due to family brought up, or perhaps due to their distinct personality. On this aspect, somehow, I believe I am one who is not, inside out. I am too ambitious to be tied down by that system, which is so gonna fail in times to come. That explains that sentiment, which I've still yet to reveal despite having written so much. To die-hard supporters of the failing system, that could be seen as an impractical and irresponsible escapade I've so selfishly thought up for myself; to the down-to-earth Asians, that could be viewed upon as some sort of laughable excuse to giving up on self (which I have not!), and to myself, I view that as a revolution. To be part of the starter to initiate a change, that's my purpose I feel. If I ever flop for my A levels, then so be it, since that's the amount of time and effort I am prepared and willing to put in. I've other thoughts in mind already, and I think until then, I ought to keep that sentiment from public knowledge. Come on, just give it my best shot, and let God take care of the remaining. Whatever happens, give Him thanks and praise!<3

Two of the very good videos I just used for worship! Love them!

The course of writing was filled with much laughters and I really appreciate their sincerity when they write about others. Thank you for all the acknowledgements you've given me. Of course there're some aspects which I had hoped to hear or at least hear more were not there, but that could be one area that you guys have helped me identify that perhaps I'm not quite there yet. Otherwise, thank you for the encouragement you've given me. Thank Jonny for that leader part. I will work harder to become an even better one! All right, that's about it for now, but I do hope to have more of this kind of things in times to come.

Once again justify my request for an additional cell. This is definitely insufficient!!! On a side note, no one said that I am handsome for the eulogy still=P haha! I like how they laughed when I joked about it just now^^ Thank you guys!!!