When I first began blogging, my intention was to keep a dairy- one that could at least reveal to some of my best friends the minimum daily bits about myself even if we had gone to different schools, but that purpose was not served because apparently many, if not all of my friends are prioritising exams and results over reading my blog. I mean I can't blame them, can I? Considering the pace at which schools are progressing these days; considering how dire the consequences are if we do not do well in schools; considering how the people are behaving likewise (the mock mentality still pretty much applies then). This leads me to one of media corp's Chinese tourism programs, in which Mark Lee brought together with him one of the foreigners to experience life in another foreign land. There was this episode which they visited the Netherlands, of which the primary school kids do not have any examinations until after they have completed primary school education. Even after that, there isn't any ranking system in place which means the people literally learn for the sake of enhancing themselves, a huge contrast to ours (where we learn for the sake of competition, survival, whatsoever). A quote which I could only agree with: "their people work to live; but we (Singaporeans) live to work!" Unfortunate, yet so true.

As I completed that little rant up there, I'm beginning to wonder if this entry would be as long as, or perhaps even longer than all the entries that I've posted in the past few months combined. Oh well, we shall see...

Examinations are finally coming to an end, and that refers to the official school examinations. Indeed, preliminary examinations are the tests that we Singaporeans take during the phase prior to the actual major exams, be it PSLE, O'levels, or even A'levels. And for some reason, many schools seem to love to kill their people of their interest in certain subjects by making many of them literally un-doable, or rather brain-murdering. The Dutch kids are found to be the happiest kids around, and I'm very much convinced that we stand in the same pole position as they do, but on the other end of the spectrum. How ironic, Singapore could be seen to be all sufficient, yet unable to satisfy men's most basic thirst- happiness. Oops, I'm drifting. Yeap, so I'm currently two paper away from the end, and frankly, I haven't been happy with any of my results in the past 1 year odd. Regardless if I had topped the class, if I've clinched a B-grade or whatsoever. I haven't been proud. I mean I used to be a high-flyer for my entire life, and the fall certainly hurt much, and even more so, the inability to fly again. Science and mathematics used to be my favourite, but the system killed it. No doubt, there are many people whose abilities could be on par or perhaps even inferior to mine who are doing really well in schools, but they did that at the cost of many other things- friendship, faith, family and experience. No one who somehow managed to clinch an A-grade in the end would be able to claim that they hadn't studied hard without inviting taunts and glances of loathe. Everyone knows that hard work is all that matters in JC-education, otherwise, the claims are all bull shit (I apologise for the use of profanities). But amazingly, some shameless people are still making that sort of claims, perhaps with the attempt to make themselves look intelligent, which eventually turned out to be a joke- one that is so not funny, but instead totally a childish ploy. Unfortunately, there are some who are swayed by the people around them, so they'd just make that sort of claims in order to blend in? Very much like the peer pressure that primary schools like to instil in their people. Due to the fear of being labelled a mugger, henceforth that act. To that, I'd think that they are really pathetic (no holding back of words), but yea.

As for me, myself, I haven't been working hard, and naturally, my results are far from ideal, at least until now. Even so, I've insisted on my very own manual of revision, which frankly has nothing to do with practices. Initially, I was kind of puzzled by that kind of irony I've created for myself. Everyone knows that the only way to improve our grasp of anything is through practices- practice makes perfect. Even I myself subscribed to that when I was much more little. Then my thought began to ring many bells after much pondering. The nobly-quoted "practice" and the "practice" of today are worlds apart by definitions. I began to recognise some sort of a trend- the former basically refers to a set of trainings that sharpens one's technique in acquiring some skills, so as to enhance their applications when in need; the latter is a thwarted ramification of today's world- repetitions of work (could be of the same kind or not) so that people would be able to recognise similar questions if they ever come out again. A huge laughing stock, which went against the recent target to produce a group of creative new bloods. To put it less vaguely, the ones who practise most, are the ones who are more likely to do well, not because they could apply their knowledge better, but because they could manage those questions with their eyes half-open by basing it on those impressions.

Digging deeper into these wounds is the fact that the education system is not helping things. For one, SPA used to be lauded as something that allows the students to go beyond the paper work, to expose them to hands on application. Smart schools have since identified the loopholes in such schemes, as such almost all the schools are providing answer schemes for the students to memorise for the actual examination itself. Of course, then the teachers would tell us to tighten up our lips, but what for? Everyone knows about it, and perhaps it already is an open secret! Project work being another instance.

Then there is also this fact that many schools reuse their questions over and over again, by simply mixing a concoction of those of the past decade or two. Practice, thus becomes an inevitable, and possibly, the only way to do well. If that kind of resistance is expected of us in face of that kind of pressure, then shouldn't the gauge be revised as well? I'm not sure how the syllabus was fixed, but the compressing of those thick contents are backfiring, very badly. To put it bluntly, the knowledge would be thrown away after graduation. That is a common sentiment shared by most, if not all. "I'm so gonna burn the notes after the final paper!" So when everything finally ends, what would we have gained- having paid the full two-years worth of course? Frankly, nothing! Alright, perhaps some would say that the hard-earned certificate would worth it all, but hey come on! What's the purpose of an education? A piece of certificate? "The cert's gonna get me to anywhere I want to go!" "The cert's gonna guarantee a bright future for myself!" "The cert's not almighty, but it's essential since everyone's got one these days!" All in all, I believe that would be the mentality for many singaporeans, or the asians as a whole today. Then, I would want to seriously give this a serious thought- are the employers today dumb enough to buy in that piece of paper which has almost literally zero meaning behind it at the point of employment (many years since leaving schools); is the world so gonna improve based on the "creative new bloods" that have emerged from this almighty system?

Unfortunately, if it was to be based on my personal perspective, I would stamp a huge cross on it! Looking back into the greats of the past, amongst them was Einstein being the more famous, and arguably the most brilliant person ever lived.

Some famous quote from the man himself:

Once again remind us that education is about quality, about one's upbringing, about one's foundation, not his capability, not the quantity.

I foresee a future where only advancements in technologies (bio and IT) would be made because that had become the focus today, and on top of that, people seem to be happy to live with the uncertainty that some theories perhaps still contain, and would rather live in self-denial than to push over what could have been wrong.

Alright, enough rant I guess. Having said that much, as unwilling as I might be, unfortunately, I too had been sucked into that spiral that I had made to sound so detestable- simply because a single man's voice, a single man's strength does not help to be heard in the bigger society. At the end of the day, there must be someone out there who would probably defend it with many many reasons, as atrocious as they may sound.

MOO!!!=)

Indeed, when it first started out, the study of the fields had never draw a shadow of similarity, until very much later when all the formulas were drawn, that the relationship was established. Henceforth, is there anyone who might be bold enough to embark on the study of the unprecedented, the seeking of the depth. Time, that is. In the same way how all these fields attract, in the same way how many things were made into perspective. Happy moments fly; unhappy moments would then take its own sweet time to crawl into place. An inverse relationship?

Even if one day, science proves itself insufficient to explain this, so much so that the claim becomes nothing more than a piece of philosophical deductions, I'm hoping, I'm really hoping, that Einstein's words might be heard one day, that when one reads too much, the creativity got hindered, and the man would eventually fall into a state of laziness that he doesn't think anymore. Yes, the same applies to so much more.

Frankly, it should never have been that bad, if not for all the competitive streak that plagues almost the entire community of the nation. JC life is made so hard, for the sole attempt to not lose out since all the others are trying so hard. Henceforth, having come thus far, apart from that jubiliance, which even that I might have much difficulty sustaining, dillema is what that entails. Habitual panic has its own deprivation as well I guess. Meanwhile, tomorrow's gonna be my first paper of this final nightmarish school-based examinations. Ironically, some JCs are already nearing their last. I just hope that at least for once, I would be able to get some decent results for JC. All the best to all!

Sentiments these days have been thrown into a rough turmoil. There were times when I reminisce about the past; there were times when I think about the future; there were times I thought I like the present; there were times I took an escapade to the fantasy. Perhaps that has always been the way how human mind works, but worldly commitments hid it well. In any case, God's been kind to me. Despite so little discipline I've so guiltily pinned myself onto, I've still managed to finish what I've intended. What lies ahead remains and unknown until it's explored. Way to go!

On a side note, Cimorelli rocks! =)

Beautiful voices, talented musicians. Enjoy:

The raging storm calms my vexing soul! Rain- my love

God is good! All the times!

Our only door to heaven is through Him and only Him. haha! I like my desktop background!

On top of that, I had so much enlightenments because God had put wonderful advices and encouragement in the likes of Aunty YP and Roy to push me on. Thank you Father. I'm sharing again on Friday, at least another thing for me to look forward to. Also, I created a FB evangelism group, which I hope would be a good avenue to spread the love and spread the truth. I hope there will be many passionate Christians who are in favour of that, and I hope to get to know so many more whom God has put around me.

Finally, I pray that the all mighty God will take everything in His hands as I learn to let go.