Today I went to church again. Spiritual struggle is far from over, but I'm suppressing the laziness, the reluctance, and whatever not that are hindering the growth of my faith, all but to rely heavily on the strength He has provided for me. Thank you Father. I miss those days when I was an encouragement to my fellow brothers, and human has the contagious effect in terms of behavioural traits. Even if it is subconcious. A quote from myself (for the n-th time already): slowing down is an option, but let it not be the cause for a lacklustre effort. The words keep chaning, but the meaning's still the same. Do try our best, because Jesus has done so much for us, so isn't going to church a minimum effort we should put in? Father Lord, I pray for myself, and all others who are enduring the struggle, who are resisting the temptations, that You will provide us with the strength and discipline to conduct ourselves, and to live Your way. For You promise that You will dwell in us more as we dwell more in you. In Jesus name, Amen!
"When devil knocks on the door, disregard everything else (no manner, not even to entertain the thought of an alternative). The only right thing to do, slam the door in his face, even better if the door literally slam into his face."
Posted by Judah at 5/31/2009 04:16:00 AM
LIKE:
I want one for Alpha also! Theen Yew, we make ok!!! other houses should make too=)
Posted by Judah at 5/31/2009 03:39:00 AM
Saturday, May 30, 2009
I'm back again. Stay over at school is becoming more and more frequently, and I won't deny that I'm loving it! Companionship during the youth of the night was great with games and big chit chats! Couldn't emphasise this more, I love Alpha!
What had justr ended was an overnight major school event organised by one of our school's Mazurin group- the Can marathon, which objective was to break record and rasie money for operation smiles (which deals with cleave lips)? I'm nto exactly sure what else though. Skipped school in the morning, and turned up for cheerleading, probably my last. There were still some instance when I got quite frustrated by the fact that there was no sense of urgency amongst them, somehow, even though I've said it so many times. Nevertheless, I sense improvement, really. So keep it up=) Having mentioned that that was my last cheerleading, it didn't really occur to me until not long ago when I woke up from my nap and saw Inez's message. Indeed, a fabulous experience! I will miss you all too! Once an Alpha cheerleader, always an Alpha cheerleader=) I will be back, promise!
Only defact to this memorable finale was my feet. 3 lumps of them niggling at the sole of both feet as I stepped. Excruciating pain* I had to limp around most of the times, and even had to run at the weird hours of 3 in the morning. Apart from that, I'm suspecting a strain in the region behind the knee (what is that part called arh?). Yeap, while playing captain's ball, that place kind of hurt!
Well well, so basically that's about it. After much practices, today's the performance. Weather didn't help, and the crowd was pathetic. Yet we enjoyed ourselves, and I think all the houses put up a really great performance! "I want nobody nobody but you"=)
Alpha, Beta, Delta and a certain Kenneth Neo! Thank you for participating and putting up that great performance! Our joy lies in the passion, the love, not the competition, not the glory! Really glad that we are all in this together=) Delta was really great, and I'm just so proud that my shoulder stand got passed down! Alpha was just as great when I looked at our own video! Beta, though I missed your performance, but I know you all are really great too (I saw your practices)=). When the focal point is no longer competition, the fire gets put out- no schemes, no grunts, only peace. Cooperation should have been the basis of this, a unison, to help each other when in need, not segregation, not ostracise=) I'm proud we manage to do it! And juniors, if you all are to forget anything, just remember these 3 things:
1. Despite being 3 houses, the core objective of this committee is to fulfil the mission of 4 houses, 1 house committee, even at times of competition.
2. Sense of urgency
3. Never let an alternative option be an excuse for yourself to not try hard/ give you best
Jiayou, juniors! Your journey has just begun. Mine had been a short one, but certainly a great, meaningful and fruitful one! Hope yours will be even better than mine! Jiayou!
On a side note, today Judah is in good mood. So he's been treating people to small stuffs everywhere, and he's kind of broke now! Be kind to him ok=)
Posted by Judah at 5/30/2009 12:14:00 PM
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thoughts-triggering quote:
"When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there"
Posted by Judah at 5/28/2009 08:37:00 PM
Barcelona fully deserves the champions league and the treble. My pick of the match would be shared between two of the most underrated football masters- Xavi and Iniesta. Though I missed half the match. Manchester United was a shadow of itself, far from a ManUtd standard anyone would expect. Speculations came out again pertaining Ronaldo's dissent towards the tactics used, and event about his future. If that is really the case in the next few months, Ronaldo would have destroyed whatever improved image I had of him. Nevertheless, I'm glad Barcelona won. Manchester United had always been dubbed as being the haughty club, the arrogant club. But I would say that they have great players such as Ryan Giggs and Vidic and many more, who are committed and humble. It's hte fans who are the arrogant ones, applying salt to the wound of the heartbroken ones who had their favourite relegated, criticising and even mocking at the poor run of forms of fellow European giants. It's all root down to the fans. I hope this defeat will be a wake up call to the fans, not only of Manchester United, but of many other clubs- fans are supporters of the game, and they should practise the values of a good sportsman as well! The common language of football, of sports- RESPECT!
Notice something! Both do not have visible tatoos or anything of sorts! Role models indeed! Becky, Cassano, Torres, learn from them!
I couldn't have agreed more. Civics lessons were always deemed to be an atrocious wastage of time. Even the teacher who was supposed to conduct it could not help but to reveal some sorts of frustration during the survey of evaluation we did in class today. My response was just as bad, 4 strongly disagrees and 2 disagrees. Indeed, they were perhaps asking too much, a demand that was way off the genuine truth.
Today's civics lesson was a pick up from where we left it last time, which seemed very long ago. It was about the standards set for a potential girlfriend, and then a potential spouse. Been sometime since I last gave those a serious thought, and yes, today's civics was a little more impactful, in the sense of how it related to me. Can a friend material indeed be a girlfriend material? It was left in the suspense, but the answer was simple- the distinct categorisations have inevitably merged/overlapped over the year. Another deja vu: one of the youth group discussion of nooma which talked about ahava, raham, eros.
I'm letting everything take over me, temper, guilt, rashness, and everything else. Perhpas everything else except for self-discipline- to hold down my temper, to suppress my anger, to control my frustration etc. Apologies to everyone whom I might have hurt with my words. Everyone, particularly reuben, whom had fell victim to my ventings on more than one occassion. I know you all are trying your best, but it's really hard to control. Hard to swallow the unfairness, and even harder to detect what tone it is from smses. I've had it so many times before, believe me, smses are not the best tools. Hope it doesn't affect friendship whatsoever. Apologies.
Posted by Judah at 5/26/2009 04:48:00 AM
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Today I'm proud of myself. Shouldn't have been the case, and wouldn't have been the case if it had been a few months back. Today I went to church, after 3 weeks of absense that is. Reasons? It's really complicated. Spiritual warfare I would classify it. Ariel should know it well enough. Oh well, I'm just so glad God did not forsake me. When I called out to Him, He heard. And true enough, I found that discipline out of nowhere to pick myself up, still late though. Sermon was super relevant, like all the time! Whenever I'm in trouble, the faithful Lord always speaks. Pray and Peservere! Indeed so true!
Posted by Judah at 5/24/2009 01:25:00 AM
photos time!
Posted by Judah at 5/24/2009 01:17:00 AM
Saturday, May 23, 2009
People told me to eat whenever gastric strikes. I used to have the opposite thinking that it's already too late to eat. "Best friend" (not Joel Wong) shared my sentiments. But now, it's becoming more and more unlikely, as the excessively-compromised health is staging a revolt. So now I'm paying special attention to these areas- any slight anomaly, just a slight one, then that's it. Been that way today again.
That aside, it's been sometimes since I last blogged, but there's no way I will let this blog die. Like I said before, I've given this blog life, so I won't take it away. That was a promise.
Exactly a week ago, I was lying on the couch in the HC room. Initial plan to heat up the cheese in the middle of the night to relive the vivala pinata was abandoned due to exhaustion. Yet I remained pretty much awake, leaving me the only person in the room staring at the (wireless-rejected) laptop screen in the darkness. On my mind was numerous tugs that triggered many more sentiments- the stepping down, the passing over, the ending. Exactly one week from then, I've already stepped down. Investiture was on the immediate wednesday after camp. The number of rehearsals was pathetically little. In fact, only one the day before and one on the day itself before school begun. Tuesday morning, Mat showed me the collage which contained so many of our beautiful memories. 16th HC was a really successful term, and certainly an eventful and enjoyable one. Thus, witnessing it's no-return only brought me to tears. I couldn't stop, and it was really awkward to cry during a tutorial. I'm not sure if anyone other than Mat saw that, but the sore was there. The grunt against flitting time.
Just as I thought me crying on the actual day was almost a certain thing,I did not shed a single drop of tear. At lest it didn't flow. Instead, many others cried. Direct junior shanna cried as I told pinned the badge onto her. I think what I said to her is applicable to all other people as well. In cheerleading I always say, "don't be scared, got me." Flyers is always dependent on the base and back support. This time round, the 17th, do remember. "Don't be scared, because the enrie committee is there to support." I couldn't emphasise it more during the camp. People, just like when you are standing on one leg, cuddling on to each other would only help you all to stablise, to hold on for a longer period of time. Jiayou 17th!
Had so much camwhoring after that, but the pictures are all on facebook. Seriously, I'm very lazy to upload.
On a random note, today I went for the first band concert after Faith's which I went last year. Was really good. I think I enjoyed it really much. The music was beautiful, and many friends were telling me that they did not realise how fast the time passed, implying that it was really enjoyable. I particularly like Yug han's stage play! It was awesome, and I think they really enjoy their time in band. So my advice to them is don't quit if you all can handle. It always feels good to be part of a team/group=) Jiayou. I wish you all the best=)
Posted by Judah at 5/23/2009 09:44:00 AM
Friday, May 22, 2009
on request by Justina Leong Mei Yee:
Justina Leong Mei Yee rocks.
The above claim does not represent anyone's view, anyone includes me=P
Posted by Judah at 5/22/2009 08:07:00 AM
Monday, May 18, 2009
From where I left it, friday was the very very much anticipated House Committee Camp. For the entire week, I have been looking forward to the camp really very much, and hoping for it to not end so soon. That's our final event, and I'm afraid. I couldn't really get high largely because of the knowledge that it's approaching- the end. Loathed it coming. If I had a choice, I would have wanted to rerun. To the 17th HC, hope you all have enjoyed the camp, and garnered as much take away as possible. Wishing you all well in your term. All the best.
Having the early symptoms of an activity-poisoning, I decided to skip some of the lessons for that day. Who in the right mind would want to go for lesson on a camp day? That day's weather gave us an opportunity to move away from the influences of the seniors. We had our camp on a perfect weather, after the rain, but this year, rain was much heavier, and it refused to budge until very much later. A really new experience indeed.
Whatever happened during the past 3 days was nothing any words of any forms can describe. Disappointment aside, anger aside, frustration aside, I've enjoyed the camp really much. The companionship of the fellow House comm people, the kind of bond established across houses, the hardwork put together by all, the kind of nostalgia seeing the growth of the juniors instilled. The coming of Wednesday was so very dreaded.
Night walk, curriculum, running back to school, morning physical training, amazing race, campfire, CSI, Night physical training, Sea Physical training, mass cleanup, voting. Which part of it have I not gone through before. Seeing the juniors come through the camp, the desire to relive the past only become stronger. Juniors, I want you all to really cherish and treasure this one year down the road. I remember what I told you all during the last day. Yes, I was very disappointed with all of you, but thanks for the last minute effort. I saw you all trying your best, and frankly I was touched. Tears swelled up in my eyes on so many occassions throughout the course of that 3 days. I just hope that the effort will sustain, that you all will continue to try hard in all that you all embark on in the future. Do your very best, do us proud. Juniors, despite not voicing these out, but yes. Good job on that last round the track. I ran with you all, I saw you all trying, and for a while, I thought I was one of you all.... Jiayou people!
Alpha house committee 16th, you guys are my love. Short dedication coming up soon. 17th house committee. I hope you all didn't think that I enjoy punishing you all, but instead hope that whatever I've said will spur you all on, will motivate you all, will inspire you all. And be something that will stay in your mind for a long time.
Slowing down is an option, but is not an excuse for you all to not try your best. All the best my dear juniors, may the wonderful Lord bless you all in all your endeavours. Love you guys.
Posted by Judah at 5/18/2009 04:20:00 AM
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Looking forward to HC camp. PT comm ftw!
must bring:
Way to go, PT=)
Posted by Judah at 5/14/2009 10:27:00 AM
I wanted to blog in the morning, but has forsaken that idea after so so much procrastination. Anyway, today I got back my handphone after so many trips. In return, I got so much realisation upon how I've behaved as well as how I ought to have behaved in the past. Disappointment. Yet, reality has taught me that the widely-perceived may not be always right. Been sometimes since someone quoted from a bible to teach me certain values, and this particular verse of the day comes from Thessalonians. I'm not too sure exactly where it comes from, but it's about an attitude that ensures that one is never tired from doing good/right things. How true!? A word of advice from none other than our Heavenly Father. Amen!
However, are good things the only capacity of rules and regulations? Apart from the order that it guarantees, is it fair to say that all rules are build upon the foundation of the good and the right. No doubt the act of abiding to preset rules is inarguably the right thing to do, but yet surely that didn't mean an easy overlooking over what exactly this particular rule is about. It's pretty much of a tug-of-war game of the thoughts, and even more so, the playing of words.
I have always been proud to be a christian, and being criticised on that soft spot was pretty hard to swallow. I mean I always thought I have been conducting myself well enough (perhaps only in the big aspects), only to realise that I've overlooked so many minor details. While blogging about this, a deja vu struck me, like how it always does. A few weeks ago, Mrs Ho used half the General paper period to reprimand all the school office holders on their lacklustre efforts towards class activities. The biggest disappointment comes in the form of us not being able to transfer and apply the zest we have for our pdps onto a smaller stage called class. Back then, I was feeling really sore due to that excessive generalisation she has made about us doing things for the recognition, instead out of true passion (which I always claimed to possess). But contrast it with today's learning point, it was far from no link. In fact, it has every singel relationship concerning each other. My attitude really has some problems, and leadership qualities (something which I always quietly perceive to be a part of me) now seem not so perfect anymore, and my working relationship with the other people. All of which surface, perhaps a little too cruel, but definitely not too fast. The soul-searching was good, the lengthy period of waiting was well-deserved, and the lesson learnt definitely strongly etched upon my heart.
Is that amount of trouble that I've fetched worthy? My answer was no, but currently I opt for the other option. Yes, it's well-worth. At least, it's now that I've realised my problem, not tomorrow, not thereafter. So in a sense I'm fortunate.
Lesson learnt:
-Do not feel tired from doing the right things.
-Carry ourselves the way we should, for every small thing (insignificant) is a practice towards bigger challenge. Do not despise the impact, for it is the small things that form our character.
Another Deja Vu was a phrase that sparks off some memories. Another quote of mine: promises are not meant to be broken. And the adamant attitude which did not budge reminded me of something I read in Genesis, about the power of words in the past. It (verbal) was as good as contractual agreement today, and it's quite saddening that how men had dishonoured such beautiful gift the Lord has blessed us with.
Hopefully, that was a wake up call for me. Hopefully, those will stay with me for a long time. Hopefully, it will help me develop to become the genuine good christian that I aspire to be. Hopefully, next time when I tell people that I'm a christian, I will bring glory to the Father, instead of shame and guilt.
Father Lord, thank you for this precious lesson that you have installed in this phase of my life, not only to help me improve upon myself, but even more so, to draw me back to your side, especially during this period of time when I might be suffering from a bit of backsliding of faith. I pray that you will continue to look after me and shower me with the wisdom and the sight, so that I will be able to see and understand the many great things you have planned. Father Lord, I also pray that you will strengthen my faith and instill in me the discipline that I need in all aspects of life. In Jesus' most glorious name I pray, amen.
Sad clown
The blatant truth.
Posted by Judah at 5/14/2009 09:38:00 AM
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Today's a pretty good day to begin with, considering that it was one of the rare Wednesday mornings where we had nothing to do. Or at least not anything mundane. Got to school at the usual early hours of 6, did some stretching, then waited for the rest of the PT comm people to come. Yes! Training finally begins after weeks of procrastination. Reminded me of the good old times of OAC training. Ironically, as much as I often said quitting OAC was the right move to coping JC life, I'm very much missing the time when we suffered together as a team. Been sometime since I was part of a team, that is not considering Alpha cheerleading of course. Fear was eradicated, my fitness level's still hasn't deteriorated beyond salvage. Elects have something to worry about already. Took some photos, but my phone's confiscated. Shall elaborate more later on.
Anyway, today was also the day of our last physics SPA assessment, and that is practical goodbye thereafter. Relieved that everything went well, but straighten the thoughts a little- doesn't that mean 2 extra periods of Physics each week? Hm.. Rejoice? I wonder. And on top of that, Chemistry is next. Lots more to wonder.
Deja Vu again. My handphone was confiscated during my secondary school times, and I had to go one month without it. Extreme torture, I reckoned. History repeated itself today. Was having contact time attending some psychology talks, which I had zero interest initially. So Weiliang was kind enough to lend me his chicken soup, in which I came across a short poem of which a portion contrasted youth and the age. How do you define old? We are old enough to choose, yet too young to go beyond. Point to wonder. Was noting it down when Tong caught me off guard. Say goodbye to my phone. Hopefully I will be able to get it back tomorrow.
Dreams. The impossible made possible. A swing on the moon. Way beyond the limits of time.
Dreams in dreams.
Posted by Judah at 5/13/2009 06:43:00 AM
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
What am I doing here? I mean a person whom hardly had any sleep the night before should already be in the bed sleeping soundly at this hour, shouldn't he? Okay, perhaps I had used the revision for tomorrow's final Physics SPA as the excuse, but that was a matter of at least 30 minutes ago. Revision was finished, and nope, I still don't feel sleepy. Either that my body clock's adapting well to 2 hours-sleep/day, or that... I don't know what other reasons, but I know I'm jeopardising my body pretty badly. Oh well, what to do?
Been very nostalgic lately. The blues of stepping down- anyone who has grown attached to their PDPs during the course of this two years ought to be in that shade color. BLUE BLUE. Emo posts all over the place didn't help much but to aggravate it. Not bombarding them, but rather it really makes the feelings even stronger. Alpha HC blog for one has lots of memories which really really really evoke a lot of memories tracing moments. That, was just to name one of the many.
No matter how many times I whined, no matters how willing I am, the world continues to advance at that pace it had set for itself millions of years ago. Learn to accept and apply one of my most-loved self-derived quote: sad that it ended; glad that it happened.
I think I said so many times already, but no harm repeating it again. I used to dread my decision of coming to TJC, especially after so many set backs that almost convinced a high flyer that acing all subjects would be very unlikely. Then came a turning point in life where I realise the significance of this non-academic part. If I had gone into poly, I think I would have missed a big chunk of my life, a really big one! 2008-2009 was indeed the most happening phase in my life. 16th Alpha House Committee, SLCs groups, Alpha cheerleading, K9kulture, all are my love love.
Either I'm too sensitive or that I'm too petty. Regardless if whether that's a joke, didn't feel good at all upon hearing that. The feeling of not needed, of being replaced, of hm... It's time to move on I guess.
Got this photo online. Old photos always have the soothing effect and the nostalgic factor no matter how no link they are to the memories. A rusted bike against a spoilt old backdrop- how about the good old times?
Alright, I drew this. Shall adopt a new approach for my blog. A picture speaks a thousand words. Secondary 2 times, a teacher told me to learn to stop at certain instance of life to appreciate the roses around us. Indeed, it's so much truer when I tried doing it myself. Fragrance and beauty!
As I look back the many miles that I've covered, I begin to wonder deep down how far have I come? 525600 minutes, how do I measure a year of the life; how do I measure the the happenings of a journey. In laughters, in smiles, in companionship, in chit chats, in love, in glory, IN MEMORIES. (Seasons of love)
Posted by Judah at 5/12/2009 08:33:00 AM
Haha! So despite that piece of "good news"; and despite my words that I will never try to figure out the sudden stoppage to my football manager 2009 game, I didn't really stood by my words. I went back and picked up from where I have left, and it was provened to be a system error, meaning that I could continue, from the match with Arsenal, which after re-trying many times, I managed to earn a hard fought victory 4-2. And January transfer window came, after which I played a FA Cup home game against Crewe where I strolled to victory with a clear but solid score line of 4-0. Just as I clicked the continue button as always, the genuine demo pack notice finally came out. Thank you for playing the demo version of the game, followed by a line which mentioned something like pre-purchase whatsoever. So that's that. Judah's unbeaten run with Manchester United (sprinkled with moments of cheating affairs) has to end here. Ciao.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Posted by Judah at 5/10/2009 04:14:00 AM
Saturday, May 9, 2009
16th HC. My love!
Posted by Judah at 5/09/2009 11:45:00 AM
I'm quite happy currently. Not something that significant as it is just yet, but something that's gonna affect me a lot for the remaining one year, and very likely, the subsequent time that follows. After having downloaded FM09 demo pack, I've been hooked to it like literally. Today's a Saturday, and apart from some extraordinaries, been spending quite a bit of time on that game. Just a couple of hours ago, I came to a standstill in the game, which I have zero intention to explore why. Though I'm pretty sure the demo pack only allows its player to go as far as half a season, nothing beyond. So that should be the reason why I could not proceed on with the match with Arsenal after just one try. Haha. Like I said, I'm happy I couldn't continue, so I shan't try to uncover what might seem to be a potential fault. Finally, after so many days of sluggishness, it's work time. Shan't feel bad about being unproductive anymore! Jiayou Judah!
Turned in pretty late the previous night, so I kind of had a bit of problem waking up. Luckily Kaizen called me at 740, because somehow I happened to miss all the 3 alarms and the 30 snoozes before that, else I would not have turned up in time for my date with the 16th House Committee. Jog to that place and I was the first to reach, just as I was so scared I would be the last. Evenutally everyone turned up slowly one by one, all except for 3 were late. -_- Anyway, all this thing about the 16th HC outing was really cool, largely because it's the very first outing we had after that one year I think. So today was our picnic at this inhabitable place=P Haha. An experience indeed, and I enjoyed the fun and the company! Haha, frankly I've been thinking: "if ever one day I am to become some facilitator of some outdoor thingy, I will be the last one to be surprised." Haha, I mean it's not the first time, not that I like the attention, not that I want to show anything to anyone, and neither was it that I wanna impress anyone. But whenever there's activities of this kind, I always instinctively go to the front. Like second nature kind of thing? Let the pictures do the talking=)
Came home in the noon, and chatted with my nephew. Yes, he came again. And I sent him some Lord of the Ring music. Talking about sending music, I had a good chat time Fang Xiong in the earlier part of the day. Been some time since I last had a proper chat with him, about Falun gong, about Chinese dialects and even about China's drama production- 3 kingdoms, Shui Hu Zhuang, Huang Zhu Ge Ge. Yes, HZGG again, Hanle, did you see this?=)
Dozed off and came online late at night. Chatted with many people, handling over 10 conversations at some instants. Haha, I'm not too bad at juggling these huh? None waited very long for my reply. Chatted with Charlene the longest, and gave her some nice nice christian songs=) Haha, quite enjoyable.
Someone confessed to me online. Been quite sometime too since I last had a blatant one. Hm, didn't quite know what to do, not quite sure how to react, and super unsure how I feel. Haha. All of a sudden, I thought it's too early to be in a relationship (though I had 2 before), all of a sudden I felt so unprepared for everything. The previous relationship was a huge chunk of obstruction like all the time, Yes, been a year, but still haven't gotten out much from that relationship. So like how it used to be, it would be so unfair if I ever say yes, with her shadow still strongly attached. What more, not knowing how I felt meant that it didn't cross my mind before meant that.... a "no" is a more appropriate answer? Sorry.
To the index finger which reside on my small palm: "get well soon. I know the cut's deep, but do get well soon" =)
love,
the landlord of that palm=)
Posted by Judah at 5/09/2009 07:36:00 AM
A littel updates (that explains why I'm so in love with the 16th HC) :
=Love
