Today's my last day of MC, tomorrow will be the long-awaited labour day(maybe not so long since I'm already having a break now), and after that hell will resume for me. Hopefully, Friday will be a smooth day for me. The one thing I desperately want it to go smoothly- my talk with Ms Cheryl Low, I want to leave...
Posted by Judah at 4/30/2008 10:17:00 AM
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
It's time to revive my blog, I guess. When was the last time I posted an entry? Many days back, and even so, those were never going to be classified as proper entries. So many things happened in school, and so many things happened to me. Amongst them, many were too significant for my life.Thoughts for HCHouse Committee had always been the place I wanted to be ever since the first day of orientation, and that desire had persisted even until today. It's especially so when it's Alpha HC. It's that special kind of bonding which I shared with my house that gives me the belief. Somehow, somewhere, sometime the thought has never been shaken before. If I should join HC had never occurred to me as a question because I was so sure that this is where I wanted to go. Hence, now I've embarked on my campaigning journey with Phay Key. People may ask why didn't I join student council since I've had that background in secondary school. Well, despite having always given the same identical answer from the same mould -I do not have a photo back then, the true reason was never told. Perhaps it never occur to me that why I should let the world know of my choice, or perhaps the true reason didn't occur to me when I was posted the question. Now that my mind is much clearer, I am very certain to say this. Reason number one was fear. Fear was a major component to why I gave up the prestigious opportunity to glow and shine. The only reason why I would ever want to get into SC would be that I want to become the house captain of Alpha through SC, but on the other hand, I've this fear that Theen will beat me and I would end up getting stuck in SC. How foolish could that be? But my concern was not for no cause. He was the clan master of O2, and I've lost to him once. Besides, I think he's better dealing with crowd than I am. Despite many people saying that they think I could have done a better job, that Theen was not enthusiastic at all, and this and that, the fear still persisted. Therefore in order to not to fail myself by getting stuck in SC, HC was deemed to be a more direct and safer path to realise my dream.A difficult choice to make
It has been four months going five since JC life has started. Frankly speaking, I've not been coping very well since. Academics, something which I've always been proud of, are far from good now. Even for PDP selection, I was not even sure of where to go. Blindly, I selected my current PDP. The reason for me to choose this and the reason for me to stay has always been the same, my teammates. I swear, other than this, I would have left long ago. At first, I thought the seniors, or rather the instructors were seriously concerned for the well-being of all of us. But as time passed, it is hard for me not to wonder if it's really for us or for the fear that we would tarnish the name of the Ever-So-Great. Many people had told us that compared to the seniors, the way they are treating us now is already considered very good. Well, I appreciate this, sincerely. But sometimes this just seemed not to be the case. More than once, the seniors have told us that if you are not feeling well, tell us before the training begin; if you are not feeling well, the very least that you can do is to be there because the presence makes a difference. But when you present them with an MC, and at the very least expect some break, all you get instead was "go join your teammates now" However, none of this felt as bad as when I was rebuffed and refused of my right to explain myself. Perhaps many might know that the few of us were in Alpha cheerleading squad back then, and that cheerleading training only ends at 10 or even 11 at night almost daily. Together with schoolworks and training, it was already pretty hard for me to catch a proper breath. Many people around me already observed and noticed my symptoms of over-exerting myself when they saw me around school. But when told them about this, the instructor actually said that that was just an excuse to escape training. For heaven's sake, if I had wanted to evade training, would I even be bothered to be there the earliest every morning? Then, during the sports meet, after the cheerleading performance, the instructors caught sight of me, and guess what, I was asked to train again. Of course, by then I was already feeling very unwell, but isn't it better to grit through all sufferings and do as I was told? Anyway, whatever I said would be just an excuse. Finally, last Saturday I collapsed. 39.0 degree Celsius of fever. Didn't think of going to the doctor initially because I thought it would just be any other common fever. Thus, I had 2 extra strong Panadols and true enough the fever went down, only to relapse to a higher 39.5 in the middle of the night. The next day, I went to the doctor, but at night, it rocketed to 39.7. By morning, the fever had already gone down. Therefore, I went back to school in the afternoon to have my SPA, but only to realise it was an entirely wrong decision. At night, the temperature shot up to 39.8 and 3am in the morning, I was unable to sleep because the head was bursting apart. Hence, despite not having MC for today, I decided not to go school. Saw the doctor again after that. For the first time in my entire life, I'm having MC for almost an entire week. So who got the last laugh? Neither, I would say. But one thing is for sure- I am going to quit, somehow, sometime. I was further assured of this when my teammates were only concern if I'm joining them for morning training and other trainings. From what I see, Matthew was the only one who was concerned. Orhs well, I'm leaving soon anyway...
Shut up and Train! (Alpha cheerleaders)
Cheerleading has to be the one thing that I've never regretted joining right from the start. If it was voluntary, I believe none of the guys would have joined, but somehow we were sarboed. Due to the similar personality that the guys shared, we decided to stay. I dare say the way we acted was very responsible and respectable, because we could have left the team the way some of the other guys did. Furthermore they were the one who volunteered, we were the unfortunate ones. But, we chose to stay, first because we didn't want the entire team to fail, second because we didn't want the in-charge to be placed in a spot, third because it would be against our conscience if we were to ever leave a bunch of girls in the the lurch. Hence, we stayed on. Although, it took up a relatively large portion of our time, we dare say that we did not regret any single bit of it. Frankly, at the beginning, none of us went to any of the training willingly. In fact, I didn't like Esmond initially. Perhaps it's due to the first impression. But eventually, the bonding was built and the chemistry was there, and Esmond grow to become a more likeable character as we got to know him better. And everyday, cheerleading became something I looked forward to everyday, even more than my own PDP. I mean, duh, that goes without saying. Finally, the actual day came, and I dare say we put up the best performance on that day. It was really a "wow"! Every week's training at Republic Poly and everyday's training until 10 at night had paid off well. Even though we didn't win, I thought we did well, and it was a really commendable effort. Teams from other houses had come forward to challenge us with their dance but together we had warded them off. That how Alpha warriors are. Like the wolves, ferocious when alone, deadly as a pack. Together we want, together we will. We want to bring glory back to Alpha, and we will do so! Mark my words.
Today I finally fell to tiredness. My weakened body is already making way for more and more illness's attacks. Yesterday I had asthma, a history which had been dormant for 8 years had occurred again. So I missed school and went to see doctor. Hopefully, this is some rest my body needed. I filled up the house committee application form finally. Tomorrow shall hand it in. One of the question goes like this:
"your country is at war (touch wood), and you are to escape with only one item in hand. What would it be and why?"
My answer,
"Politically correct - national flag and college flag (an expression of loyalty) *suck up*
Practicality - notebook (to contact overseas relative to seek refuge)
Creativity - a handy tool (to make more tools to CREATE desired equipments)
(ability to create)
Personally - Faith (the belief to keep me going) =)"
Cool answer right. Faith, you are the only one I wanna bring with me at all times.
Posted by Judah at 4/14/2008 10:01:00 PM
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Haiz. No more standard english le. Else I surely will die loh. Hm... been so long since i last blogged. Had dualthalon and stuffs. Yesterday, the training for titans finally started le. events included: 5km run, 800m shuttle run, 3 minutes sit-up, 3 minutes squat thrust, pull ups... Tiring. My blisters on my hand are bursting le.Haiz. I also don't know what I'm busy with actually. Today had math test, and yet i couldn't do majority of the questions because I... cannot do? no time to revise.schedule:monday end at 8 because cheer-leadingTuesday reach home around same time because personal stuffswednesday end at 8 because oac trainingthursday reach home at 9 because cheer leadingfriday end at 8 because oac trainingsaturday end at 5 because kayaking, reach home at late night because got concertsunday end at 5 because of kayakingso many many things. So sian. I miss secondary school life...
=Love
