Suddenly, there was an upswell in my heart. The kind which is very much akin to a heartache. Somehow, I hope I had a little more time. Somehow, I felt the urge to evangelise. Somehow, I hope I had done a little more. Somehow, somehow, somehow, I was so lost. A state of internal panic, where many things seem out of place.

At a ripe old age of 18, it's hard to believe that the boy still doesn't know the true meaning of the word "death". Dictionary defines it as an eventual outcome when life is finally lost. Everyone knows that death is a grave matter, both literally and metaphorically, but how many are actually aware of the many things that the mere term entails. Sadness, an inevitable sentiment shared by many, has hit me particularly hard this time round.

With the utensils in my either hand, the realisation paused the time around me. My head was bowed, eyes were looking straight at the piece of tile in front of me, but nothing seemed to register. Indeed, perhaps that piece of news came too quickly. Uncle suffered from stroke sometime ago, but the idea of death did not come come across as a possibility before. Intellectually, we knew death would come eventually; yet subconciously, humans tend to mask that fear, or at the very least numb it, with distractions. Yes, death would come, but not anytime soon. Perhaps?

But as I bowed down, the unexplained aching spoke to my heart. Evangelism is a pressing issue, because many are dying everyday. Evangelism has to be carried out all the time to all in all places.

Strangely, I was not at all close to him, but I vaguely remember once when I was struggling to put on my shoes while standing he offered me a seat on the bench he placed outside his house. I never thought that impression could be so lasting...

Dear Lord, please work your wonders and help us bring many many people to you, for we are aware of Your gracefulness, and we are aware of how much You desire for the salvation of many many! Amen!