However, are good things the only capacity of rules and regulations? Apart from the order that it guarantees, is it fair to say that all rules are build upon the foundation of the good and the right. No doubt the act of abiding to preset rules is inarguably the right thing to do, but yet surely that didn't mean an easy overlooking over what exactly this particular rule is about. It's pretty much of a tug-of-war game of the thoughts, and even more so, the playing of words.

I have always been proud to be a christian, and being criticised on that soft spot was pretty hard to swallow. I mean I always thought I have been conducting myself well enough (perhaps only in the big aspects), only to realise that I've overlooked so many minor details. While blogging about this, a deja vu struck me, like how it always does. A few weeks ago, Mrs Ho used half the General paper period to reprimand all the school office holders on their lacklustre efforts towards class activities. The biggest disappointment comes in the form of us not being able to transfer and apply the zest we have for our pdps onto a smaller stage called class. Back then, I was feeling really sore due to that excessive generalisation she has made about us doing things for the recognition, instead out of true passion (which I always claimed to possess). But contrast it with today's learning point, it was far from no link. In fact, it has every singel relationship concerning each other. My attitude really has some problems, and leadership qualities (something which I always quietly perceive to be a part of me) now seem not so perfect anymore, and my working relationship with the other people. All of which surface, perhaps a little too cruel, but definitely not too fast. The soul-searching was good, the lengthy period of waiting was well-deserved, and the lesson learnt definitely strongly etched upon my heart. 

Is that amount of trouble that I've fetched worthy? My answer was no, but currently I opt for the other option. Yes, it's well-worth. At least, it's now that I've realised my problem, not tomorrow, not thereafter. So in a sense I'm fortunate. 

Lesson learnt: 

-Do not feel tired from doing the right things.

-Carry ourselves the way we should, for every small thing (insignificant) is a practice towards bigger challenge. Do not despise the impact, for it is the small things that form our character.

Another Deja Vu was a phrase that sparks off some memories. Another quote of mine: promises are not meant to be broken. And the adamant attitude which did not budge reminded me of something I read in Genesis, about the power of words in the past. It (verbal) was as good as contractual agreement today, and it's quite saddening that how men had dishonoured such beautiful gift the Lord has blessed us with. 

Hopefully, that was a wake up call for me. Hopefully, those will stay with me for a long time. Hopefully, it will help me develop to become the genuine good christian that I aspire to be. Hopefully, next time when I tell people that I'm a christian, I will bring glory to the Father, instead of shame and guilt. 

Father Lord, thank you for this precious lesson that you have installed in this phase of my life, not only to help me improve upon myself, but even more so, to draw me back to your side, especially during this period of time when I might be suffering from a bit of backsliding of faith. I pray that you will continue to look after me and shower me with the wisdom and the sight, so that I will be able to see and understand the many great things you have planned. Father Lord, I also pray that you will strengthen my faith and instill in me the discipline that I need in all aspects of life. In Jesus' most glorious name I pray, amen.

Sad clown

The blatant truth.