That aside, within me is of course very much swayed towards the side where that sentiment is concerned. It's been happening for some time already. What if I do not do well for my A levels, where am I going to go? University admission would be like a huge impossibility! Some had criticised me for not working hard enough, while others have begun to shun from me, perhaps due to that indifference I exhibit towards the convention, something which may not have been too well received by the general public. Yet, I'm not feeling that anxiety which so many of my peers have complained to me about. Even people who have done reasonably well and have been studying very very hard are turning up exclaiming how scared they are for some unknown reasons, yet I'm experiencing the calmness never felt before. For that, I credit much of that to God's grace, of which otherwise, I would have no other sensible reason for explanation. I mean, would a habitual high-flyer not be afraid of a potential fall from his peak? No, he would certainly be dumbfound at that very thought of it.

Then, that brings me to deeper thoughts. Reviewing everything that has happened, am I gonna buy in whatever all the so-called motivational speakers have been instilling in us? Persevere and it will pay off, hang in there, you reap what you sow.... I particularly like the speech give by Sir Ken Robinson who has lamented the diminishing creativity, pointing towards the homogeneous education system worldwide as a huge possibility for such phenomenon! Indeed, "the system today functions in such a way that they all work towards producing professors and only that."

After all, why in the world would anyone need that amount of knowledge which in the first place would not even stay with us beyond our education years?

Everyone knows the problem, yet no one is exactly bold enough to confront it. It's just not safe to be off the convention, isn't it? What if I try, and end up at the wrong side- regret would be too late by then wouldn't it? Founder of Pixar animation, Steve Job, described his decision to drop out from college as one of the best decisions he has ever made in his life. So that's an encouragement I guess. Of course, if everyone who drops out would succeed ultimately, then frankly who else would want to attend the detestable lessons that have been tormenting our youthful souls since memory begins. It is precisely that uncertainty that gives us the second thoughts, and many a times, that too, is the hugest stumbling block from fulfilling that decision.

No doubt, some of us are indeed more suited to the system due to family brought up, or perhaps due to their distinct personality. On this aspect, somehow, I believe I am one who is not, inside out. I am too ambitious to be tied down by that system, which is so gonna fail in times to come. That explains that sentiment, which I've still yet to reveal despite having written so much. To die-hard supporters of the failing system, that could be seen as an impractical and irresponsible escapade I've so selfishly thought up for myself; to the down-to-earth Asians, that could be viewed upon as some sort of laughable excuse to giving up on self (which I have not!), and to myself, I view that as a revolution. To be part of the starter to initiate a change, that's my purpose I feel. If I ever flop for my A levels, then so be it, since that's the amount of time and effort I am prepared and willing to put in. I've other thoughts in mind already, and I think until then, I ought to keep that sentiment from public knowledge. Come on, just give it my best shot, and let God take care of the remaining. Whatever happens, give Him thanks and praise!<3