Weather: Unpredictable, just as how many circumstances always turn out to be

Mood: Taken a roller coaster ride

I mean, what a day it has been. But by saying that, I'm actually meaning so much more. First thing first, how long has it been since I last posted a proper blog entry, or what many would prefer to call it a dairy or journal entry? Frankly, it has been a long long time, and I have every reason to be really guilty about it. I mean, A levels have ended for quite some time already; I've returned from Hong Kong for another "some time" already, and excluding all the time that essentials such as work, sleep, travel, eat etc. take up, I'm probably left with around 5 or 6 hours which I've so effectively wasted away, for the most of the past weeks at least. Yet, with the luxury of such, I was still unable to retrace that kind of diligence which had spurred me on a daily run of entries when I first started out. Everyone ought to agree with this- that if any of us lacks the self-discipline to manage out time properly, however much time may be given to us, and I dare say at least half of those could really be dwindled away (a sentiment which I've modified from James' conviction about our reliance on the Lord for wisdom). (James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.)

Therefore, I assure all you readers (those who possess the determination to go through every single word each time a long entry has been posted up) that this will be a really long entry! I mean, judging from the lengthy introduction above, how short can it get right?

Anyway, this is the first entry that I ma writing in my workplace before I transfer it over onto my blog when I finally reach home later. And this is also the first time that I'm writing a hand-written one. With that, let's hope that the many novelties would, together, make this entry a quality one that is worthwhile of reading. Let's hope!

So perhaps, I shall begin with some updates on my personal life, which had been more than adequately summarised above already. Apart from work (which involved 8 hours of standing with an hour of long tormenting break in between), the term life literally ends there. Mundane stuff need not any further elaborations, but I'm just so glad that Divine intervention has genuinely made my life mundane no more. They key to this is the conscious efforts to really refine ourselves- be it in terms of attitude or even in terms of character. More often than not, many things that happen around us would usually appeal to us in a way that corresponds to how we'd view it. After all, an email that has been circulated around has had a really great impact, except that when genuine situation occurs, I always have the tendency to give way to undesirable response such as temper or even words. Yet, my recent encounters with a particular verse does appeal to me the same way how many life-changing happenings appeal to others. It's about the detrimental effect of harsh and impatient words and here's how it goes: "My beloved brethren, discern carefully. Let each person be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." (James 1:19)

I mean, the way God works never fail to marvel me each time I think about it. I mean, who could it be if not for Him, that things just fall nicely into place, each time we turn to Him wholeheartedly. Enough of the "co-incidence" talk, because that is really too much for that mere term to contain. Anyhow, that email which I've mentioned earlier on was about the 911-victims- on how they could have died if not for little things that had held them back- one gentleman was late for work because of a football match telecast the night before; another evaded it because it was the first day of school for his kid; and a more ridiculous one even includes this lady who had a blister on her foot from wearing a brand new pair of heels, henceforth dropping by a pharmacy and avoided a tragedy. Think about it again, when small discomforts or inconvenience get on our nerve . Instead of cursing and swearing, how about adopting this mentality- God wants me to be right here, right now at this moment in time and space.

I'm just so glad I did just that today. Whatever the cause it may be I do not know, but I'm just so glad that I've managed to do that by the Grace of our Gracious Lord! I don't know, but I'm just so glad and happy for a decision that I've just made, yet I'm still stuck at my workplace. Yearning for liberation! I really hope that this entry could at least convey and channel that bit of my happiness to touch many out there. I am really very happy because I've decided and am going to apply for this year's Christmas baptism- what a milestone; what a joy! Until now, only a handful of people have learnt about that decision, and amongst them, Aunty Linda's response was the one which had encouraged me a lot- she literally jumped and prayed for me about it! Perhaps the others were just less expressive, but I do hope that all will give me their blessings. After all, this is my marriage to God, my Creator and Saviour!

To all, I apologise for the lack of focus, and jumping from one to the other, and that is only because so much had happened while I was away from action in blogger. For one, there was this leaders' retreat which I've attended yesterday and I really do believe God's purpose for me to be there has nothing to do with any of the planning. But rather, a very genuine experience and enlightenment which had helped me so much.

1. Realisation of self - on my servanthood and so much more that could have helped me to improve as both a leader, as well as a servant and a relater.
2. Ironing out of confusion between the leaders and me, which have let me gain so much insights to their point of view.
3. Had a really pleasant chat with De Qi which had again broaden my view of things vastly.
4. Confession to Joel about the need to reestablish the friendship between us- one which ought to help each of us grow spiritually.
5. Trashing out of things within our hearts- to really move on as brother and sister in Christ (relief)

And amongst all, the relational issues which somewhat clicked with Joshua Harris's "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". I've gotten to confess that while I was rushing to work, I was feeling a little upset because most of what I proposed had been rebuffed when we were in the smaller group, but had been gladly accepted as "very good ideas" when other people brought them up again in the bigger group discussion- an instantaneous feeling of unjust. But think about it now, is it really worth that flare- God has called me there to fulfill my purpose and because of that there was so much satisfaction, so is it worthwhile to compromise that kind of satisfaction with a tinge of meaningless recognition? No! And I've come to terms with that already, so guess what- I am filled with contentment never felt before. Gratefulness!

On a side note, here's a little testimony about myself which could perhaps be a short extention from the joy I had mentioned before:

Initially, I was filled with much uncertainties. People were giving me advice like how the official courts of the ancient time put in their part to sway the King's decisions over issues. Some were persuading me to go, yet I was not the least bit sure if my awkward presence amongst the leaders would be welcomed. I prayed over it, and what Joel said made full sense to me, "I believe you'll contribute ideas, so just forget about the leader's tag." The scripture said,"do not test your God," but the merciful Lord is never angered when we have our genuine need- After all, Joshua Harris's mom did a similar sort of thing.

~to be continued~