So after I came back from school, I fell into intense sleep. A really long one. Until evening when I finally woke up and left for Joel's house. My phone ran our of life and I was left stranded at his house's bus stop since I was like 1 bus ahead if him. Miscommunication got me up the wrong bus. Often, that would only be a waste of time. But tht day as I sat at the bus stop, many thoughts flashed through my mind. Particularly my self esteem. Well, I have alwasy have pretty high a seld esteem for myself. I mean I always thought my looks, my intelligence, my attitude, my perspectives are all above average. But that sit at that bus stop made me reflect a lot. Especially in the aspect of boy-girl relationship. In terms of attitude, I'm sure I didn't have the best of temper and the pbest of patience. Heys, it's obvious isn't it? So Joel and Zen are two of the many examples who are better than me in this aspect. Then results, I'm surely not the best available now, largely due to the lost to my motivation to move on. Then looks.. Haha, though it's not that important, but somehow it still does have an impact on me, and ya, so many hunks. Woohoo. So that make me a lousy person huh? The longer I thought, the more things flew in. Each individual has unique characters. But heys, there are only this many characters, and look at the world population size, are there really billions of characters to suit to each of us? Then it struck me, perhaps the unique thing does not lie in one character, andeach individual is an unique PERMUTATION of characters. Hm. Sounds more like it, huh? So while one person is good in A might not be good in B, and that makes the other person who is good in B a better person in that aspect. Then a third person who is lousy in both, might be good in C, which makes him a better person in C-field than the other two. So while this better things continue in life, it is further marginalised by human's perspectives. A might be good in personality, B might be good in academics, C might be good in relationship handling. But in this fallen world, one trait is given a higher emphasis than the others, as such it receives more attention and in turn more recognition. So that makes it the indicator for success? But we don't belong to this world, do we? So that short term of success, compared with eternity? That's really long huh? So while I might have one-sidedly thought that heys, I'm not too bad a person huh? So that should only be tentative, shouldn't it? But think again, she's an ace in the wordly stuffs, which I don't relly give a damn about, but what about her perspectives? I mean I can be like that or even better if I want to. No doubt about my ability. But I don't want to. So that sets us apart? Perhaps we are really different? But yet the difference does not kill the love. So in another words, I'm being ripped apart. Haha, that kind of thoughts came randomly, but yet the effect does not stay randomly. So I'm impacted huh? Dealt a big blow at my right cheek, and I say thank you.