For 3 weeks, we've been talking about temptation during our cell, yet the real kick only set in when we were thrown into genuine situation. In reality, temptation has always been one of the more sensitive, yet most talked about topic in churches. In fact,when Gerry first came, that was one of the biggest concern in my old cell when we had the phone-calling system to ensure accountability.
Poof, almost a year has gone by. I have moved on to the NS cell (I still miss my old cell a lot though), but what has plagued humanity for God-knows-how-many-donkey-years continue to be an issue today. Temptation, something we (all) have to face as long as we reside on this alien planet; something we have to run away from as long as we keep a conscientious mind; something we have to be convinced that our Almighty Heavenly Father has complete power over; something we have to constantly put on the Armour of God to defend against. With regards to that, I am pleased with how Philip Yancey had conveyed such message in his book, Reaching for the Invisible God- there is no point putting up a front in the public acting all righteous and Holy, but rather adopt humility and proclaim His goodness by giving Him thanks and praises for the Grace He has shown. Once again, it is by His grace, not our merits.
From a lackluster agreement, we proceeded on with the "plan". The turnout was surprising I must say, but what lied ahead held an even greater surprise. The pub/lounge/bar that we went to turned out to be an enclosed dark place. Filipino ladies who were there to make a living got all touchy and physical. Apparently, there were some, whom by God's grace, preserved their sensitivity towards the wrongs in the world and became all uncomfortable, and even angry. I, on the other hand, was a lot more neutral. Neutral in the sense that I didn't mind (probably would not have reacted if I had come with my non-Christian friends, which is why I'm million-tons-grateful that I dedicated my first and hopefully only experience in such a place.). Temptation plays with our human nature- that immediate sense of satisfaction (through compliments, through physicality, through pride). I thank God for that session with my cell- praying to be covered with the blood of Christ and for God's presence to go with us, and then thanking God for the protection He has provided. (Sidetracking a little, Jason said dozing off is my Standard Operation Procedure to do well in tests, but I seriously think such practice should be the SOP to pleasing God-basically getting Him involved in every aspect in our lives.)
The 3 lessons learnt today was 1. to be disciplined in obedience, 2. to put on the Armor of God all the time, 3. temptation. The first-hand experience was genuine and literally set me thinking about many many issues- an aftermath.
About how I should be spending wisely for Godly purposes; about how seeing things from His perspective really feels. For a moment, I felt sorry for the ladies, leading me to realise the grave need to pray for the unsaved ones.
(If those girls were your closed ones, if they were your loved ones, if they were your mother, sisters or even daughters, how would you feel? That was probably 1/1000000000000000 times of how our Father might have felt.)
"Biggest encouragement:
"that's why I don't hang out much. When I was your age, my friends were literally either my colleagues or my church friends.
If that is what it means to be different for a Godly purpose, I would gladly adopt that.
Posted by Judah at 11/27/2010 07:57:00 AM
Sunday, November 14, 2010
At some point of time, this may seem like a weird entry, but today I learnt- about keeping faith and striving. I will be back soon! Praise the Lord for bringing me thus far. Unexplainable love and favour! The Lord is my shelter and my comfort!
Posted by Judah at 11/14/2010 03:16:00 AM
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Many a time, I really hope that I might have had my laptop with me, or at least some devices which would have allowed me to post my keenest desire at the correct moment. Today especially, there were so many moments of intense feelings- those of nostalgia.
For one reason or the other, I thought about my childhood, which undeniably was the favourite phase in my life- the kind of attitude I adopted back then (may be too heavy a term used for a 4 year-old kid, but oh well...), and in contrast with what I am going through today, the observation is inevitable. People change, more often that not, for the better (irregardless of what aspect, even if it means to become more despicable)- for some others, the nicer term we'd like to be better associated with would be grow. Then comes the question, how might I have grown? With a tinge of regret, and perhaps a lot more resentment, I lament the change I've had so naively forced myself to go through. In the past, I used to pridefully boast about my deliberate transformation from an introvert to an extrovert, but the repercussion is hitting back stronger than ever- it has backfired.
As much as I would love to rediscover the old "me", I am, at the very least, glad and grateful for the salvation. This week at least, my resolution is still strong (and I would of course want it to last for as long as possible). I have been spending a lot more time with Daddy God and regardless of the lack of affirmation, the peace that entails is something which few can comprehend. An irony- how much more I've enjoyed my childhood than now, and yet I was yet to be saved back then. My only reason- faithful and merciful Daddy God knew me, cared for me, and loved me before I even knew Him!
At random moments, I do feel nostalgic over a certain childhood desire. When I was a lot younger, I used to spend many Sunday mornings at home with my family- getting sunbathed in the living room; watching the standard Sunday morning television programmes; even weekly games with my Malay neighbor and my sister. Simplicity, and perhaps a lot less freedom (or rather options as to what we can do), but the contention that I derived from such has lasted til even today. I longed for such extended breaks again- the primary school holidays I spent in Malaysia; even last year's trip to Hong Kong. How distant is that?
During the 10 minutes break in between lessons today, I had a power nap which felt like it had lasted for a few hours. During which, I had a dream of which many people were inside. Faith, Xiao Ping etc. Only then I realise, much of the memories are gradually being lost because time nowadays does not permit us to go and think about the past. Indulgence in the beautiful and sweet memories is becoming a luxurious activity. We ought to look back a lot more- the days in primary school, in kindergarden, with the family, with the slightly more distant relatives. Those were the days, and those were the time- from which we've grown and gotten shaped up to what we might be today.
Posted by Judah at 11/10/2010 02:35:00 AM
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Song of the day:
Celebrate Jesus celebrate
Celebrate Jesus celebrate
Celebrate Jesus celebrate
Celebrate Jesus celebrate
He is risen He is risen
And He lives
Forevermore
He is risen He is risen
Come on and celebrate
Come on and celebrate
Come on and celebrate
The resurrection of our Lord!
As I embark on this entry, I am still very uncertain about how long this passion might last. For many weeks, I have been harboring the thoughts of reviving my blog, but each time laziness always get the better of me. Thankfully, like most evasive attempt, the longer I dragged, the more intense the desire becomes- hence, this entry. As for the format, the style- fortunately or unfortunately, my commitment to the forces probably would not permit time for that. Regardless, I am glad I got it started.
A forgotten length of time ago, the blog was created, primarily to serve its purpose as a "record of history", and then came about the thought of using it as a platform to witness. Today, I hope the revival will also bring along the same effect to the original purposes.
About 2 years of Christian faith, I've witnessed with my own eyes many wonderful transformation Daddy God has brought about in my life. Many a time we struggle; but just as often, I always come to the realisation that a greater purpose was the cause. Who can fathom the Greatness of our God indeed? A weekly thanksgiving; perhaps a deliberate attempt to share, but deep down something is still lacking- the conviction of a genuine and real God. My faith is not strong enough. "Sacrifice" I was told- I pray that I would be able to come to terms with that some day- a desperate need for a renewal and resolution (from within), so that I can finally say- more of God less of me (moGlom)!